Tori Dunlap, founder of Her First100k and author of Financial Feminist (affiliate link), has a question she asks every guest speaker on her podcast:
What is your earliest money memory?
It’s a question she also asks readers in her first chapter of her book, pointing out that this memory often is what colors the personal narrative we’ve built around money. I love that she focuses on the emotional side of money before ever getting into the mechanics of how money works. Too often we don’t address our personal narratives before jumping to the fix.
My first money memory was of a game my grandfather made for me. He used to leave coins for me on his dresser because he knew I loved to count them. One day, he took all those coins and handed me index cards with bills written on them: groceries, water, etc. He said that after I pay for the items on the cards, I could keep any of the coins left over.
One by one, I paid these “bills” and watched the money dwindle. At the end of the it, there was one penny left for me. “See, Mandy, why your parents might not be able to say yes to things? Maybe you shouldn’t ask for so much.”
I nodded, stunned to realize the “game” was a lesson. Not sure it had the desired effect my grandfather wanted. I started feeling guilty for wanting things like food.
It was only after sitting with that memory that I realized how it has impacted how I view finances, even now. And I’m grateful to have stumbled upon Tori’s podcast to learn this question. And perhaps your answer to the question will reveal something for you. I certainly encourage you to sit with it.
But today I’m marveling at the question itself.
What is your earliest ______ memory?
And how has that impacted your views on ________?
Fill in the blanks with whatever you’re struggling with, and I wonder what insight you’d have. Rest, work, health, your body…
The narratives we tell ourselves come from somewhere. And if we don’t take the time to consider the origins of ours, we can wind up cycling through the same behaviors over and over, even as we want to change.
So today I want to encourage you to reflect on these two questions. Consider what you’re struggling with lately and the earliest memory you have of that thing.
Maybe the insights you get will reveal how to rewrite the narrative.